5 Things Ugandan Girls Extremely Hate About Ugandan Men….Especially Number 4

So the other day I was summoned by some Ugandan girls; actually it was a party of sorts and they sent me a photo of themselves with a lot of make up and short dresses so it was just impossible to say no.

I rushed there expecting a night of drunkenness and debauchery only to be held under hostage, a knife on my whooper and I was forced to write this piece. Apparently these women were sick and tired on this particular traits in Ugandan men…it was either they shape up or ship out and this piece was to be the last warning they gave out before things got drastic.

So here you go:

Asking to Bonk in the Morning:

Hold up, hold up…..women are not complaining about your skills in the sack. Actually they enjoy the way you nibble on their ears and touch them just like the way they want you too….How you get them all waterlogged and leave them all weak and satisfied. What Ugandan girls are not interested in is how you just can’t seem to get enough…..they barely get to sleep because there you are in the morning at 4Am asking for more ekitone. They are urging you understand that they need some beauty sleep. Plus, they’ll be pretty much busy reminiscing about how you make them feel.

Not Applying Some Cologne:

Ugandan girls are saying that they understand you are tenacious, driven and understand the need to make money and treat them well. Trust me, they appreciate everything that you do for them; like surprisingly flying them to Paris for their birthday. Putting this into consideration however, Ugandan girls are suggesting that you put on some cologne before meeting them up for a date. Actually according to them, there is no turn on like a man who smells good.

Bragging:

This I must say almost got my cojones cut when I tried to defend Ugandan men. Ugandan girls it seems are simply sick and tired of hearing you blurb about how many girls you have bonked, how much you make and just how you are good in bed. They sent me to tell you that you’d rather complement them and make them laugh.

Lack of Manners:

You think chivalry is dead? It is and it definitely did with Ugandan men. When was the last time you saw a Ugandan man send his woman flowers? Or held her hand as they walked into Oasis mall? Or held the door to the restaurant? Basically this Ugandan girls were complaining that Ugandan men don’t have any manners at all and they’ll not take any more mediocrity.

Showing Off on Social Media:

What is happening to our men? This Ugandan girls asked me. They are getting really frustrated with the amount of time you are spending on social media taking and posing for photos and then later uploading them on instagram. Most of these Ugandan girls are getting worried that you are taking up their roles since originally it’s a woman’s thing to be narcissistic. So act like men gentlemen, shower them with attention instead and if you have to log into istagram then it better to double tap on their photos.

And you better not try and protest because when I did I was showered with quite a number of slaps; even my jaw hurts at the moment.